I feel like now that I have a job I can actually say that and mean it. LOL Although once my training is over I’ll no longer be working Monday through Friday – I’ll be all over the week.
So yesterday I did nothing all day. And I so needed it. As I said in a previous post I was feeling a little down. Between no sleep, Aunt Flo coming for a visit and missing my kids I was a bit depressed. And what I found (after reading the AWESOME book Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom) was that I wasn’t letting myself feel emotions that I knew I should be – I kept pushing them down, thinking to myself I had no right to feel that way. And normally I’m one to feel an emotion to the top and in full force and then let it go. But since working this new job I’ve been making myself feel guilty for things like missing the kids bedtimes (which I still at some point get to at least kiss them goodnight. It’s not like our usual 10-15 minutes with each kid, but at least I get that much). Then I kept telling myself before every shift “I don’t think I can do this”. That didn’t help. I was more afraid of getting the bad calls – the ones with the nasty people. And since I’ve been taking live calls every night since last Thursday I’ve only had maybe 2. So I told myself to stop worrying and just have fun. When that call does happen, and I’m sure it will again, deal with it then.
Yesterday was a day for me to mourn in a sense. Not sure if that does make sense to anyone but myself, but it was a day I needed. I literally lay in bed all day reading. I did get up for about an hour, make some banana bread and do some laundry. But for the most part I read the entire book Tuesdays with Morrie. And it was the perfect book for me to read at this time in my life. I’ll go into more detail in another post another time, but I highly recommend this book. Warning – you will need a box of tissues next to you while reading it.
And here’s my thankful for 5 for the week:
1. Being able to talk to my best friends (near or far) about anything and everything. And I talked to them this week which put a smile on my face. Love you gals!!!!! (and you know who you are!)
2. Knowing that even though my bedtime routine with the kids is changing, on the nights that I don’t work we will make them even more special now.
3. My hubby – who supports me through anything and everything and puts up with my bi-polar mood swings!!!
4. My kids who I just adore and put a smile on my face each and every day. I am so proud of them!!!!
5. All kids progress reports came home with flying colors and awards: Tristan can now apply to be in the National Junior Honors Society because his grades are so good; Caelie has her Odyssey of the Mind competition for school tomorrow and has also had her science project chosen to move onto the next round (whatever that may be); and Kieran not only turns 8 tomorrow (which I just realized could also be why I’m so weepy) but was also chosen as Citizen of the Month!!!
I’m glad that after 2 weeks of basically crying everyday I can still find the positive in everything! (And I knew a full moon was upon us – I just knew. If the moon can affect the oceans and the seas and the rivers with it’s pull, you know it HAS to affect us as human beings considering we’re made up mostly of water!!!! I can always tell when it’s going to be a full moon – I feel off.) (Maybe I should start howling-LOL)